You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
