your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize