dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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