do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize