We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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