woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
