Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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