why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am one with the molecules
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize