508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
