Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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