Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize