dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
