I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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