Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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