Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
