you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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