It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I understand Curling. That high.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
