you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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