i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
