he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
