I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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