hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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