Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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