he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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