If i come over, it means nothing
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you traded sex for a burrito?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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