the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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