suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
