I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to cum in my sink.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
