to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
