At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
