At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
