did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
