Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
