theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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