He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
