FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My feet surprised me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
