i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
