Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
3 2 1 whiskey
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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