we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
