yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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