billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
