I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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