Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize