Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
