After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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