Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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