why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
