That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize