I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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