Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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