all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
