i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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