Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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