Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
