Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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