I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
