i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
