Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize