guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
