Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
