I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize